Surgery and the right to arm bears.

So in the post-surgery haze of painkilling narcotics I decided that now was the time to push past the fact that cognative thought is being spread thin and that I cannot for the life of me express those same thoughts while following anything that even resembles the rules of grammar, i.e the run-on sentence that you are currently reading. So , to sum it up, I decided to start a blog ignoring all the rules of grammar with both great contempt and prejudice the same way that one would treat an unwelcome guest or a burglar in the wee hours of the morning ( with the liberal application of a shotgun) if it makes it any easier for you, pretend that you are reading a version of dialect writing instead of literary writing and that may open up a whole new world to you almost like reading "Tom Sawyer" or "Huckleberry Finn" you mave have to stop and say to yourself " The entire structure of this paragraph is so bad its almost like he did it on purpose which in context makes this man a genius!" or " The supernatural and psychic awareness this man has cultivated are so intense that he must be channeling Mark Twain flawlessly from beyond the grave!" But enough about me, if there is anything that I pride myself on it is my ability to be humble to an almost inhuman degree.

So today marks day Wendsday the 16th in my recover from surgery in which it was decided that I am too much man for all but 20% of my medial meniscus and the rest must be removed, How you may ask? Surgically. Now for those of you who do not know where the medial of the meniscus resides the following picture should explianificate it:



And with that brief and yet unassuming explanation I am now left waiting for an almost inevitable visit from the Arthritis fairy whom I believe ushers in the appearance of the Dementia and loss of bowel control fairies. ( Whom , and it may simply be a result of the painkillers, I now firmly believe in to the extent that I am putting a pair of"Depends"http://www.us.depend.com/ under my pillow from this night forward in an attempt to reach a truce) However I do believe that there is hope, despite the fact that I can now predict the weather with my knee, and have planned to compete in various competitions near the end of 09 and into 2010, some of which include a grappling competition in Vegas, a few local 5k's, and the second half of this seasons rugby with the Portland pigs.

Reinforcing belief in the progress of my healing is the well known fact that Birthday cakes (after the candles have been blown out of course) contain magical healing properties much like the fountain of youth but not limited to the actual regrowing of limbs and various joint tissues. As such my main source of nutrition has come from the leftovers of Juliana's birthday cake celebrating her third year on this earth.Look at that cake! Not only did my wife make this cake from scratch but she did it while juggling our two children, cleaning and simultaneously decorating for the party, taught our dog to read in braille regardless of the lack of an opposable thumb , took a clear picture of the Loch Ness Monster ( clearly proving that it is infact a surviving species of Plesiosaur ) and built the Tinkerbell doll using pieces from a 1976 Chevy suburban and her own memory of the movie Peter pan, all the while making two other cakes indistinguishable from the above for the charitable organization "Kakes for Kent". And at the same time unknowingly imbuing it with all the powers of healing. Took her about 15 min, if you don't count the five minute break in-between. this would have taken most women until 3am in the morning or some other unreasonable length. The secret ,she tells me, is time management and a disregard for the law of physic's. As they say well behaved women rarely make history, you cant take crap from the laws of space and dimension. Did you get the chance to vote on these laws? I didn't think so and that is just plain UN-American,unless you were too busy voting on "American Idol" which as far as it has been explained to me is American as well, as it includes the word "American".

Next time I will Explore the depth's that are my post surgery one week MUSTACHE and the glory and wrath thereof. Notice how I capitalized the word MUSTACHE, yeah its going to be kind-of-a-big-deal.